Buck watched his little sister sleep. The nurses had given her a sleeping pill after another nightmare about the crash which had paralyzed her, and left her best friend dead disturbed her sleep. Buck on the other hand, was thinking about her first day kindergarten

 

Brianna was trying hard not to cry. Chris and Sarah had accompanied him to

make sure she did attend. "I wants to stay wifs yous pluzeeze Buck."

 

"Now little bit, you know Ol Buck has to go to work." He hugged her tight. "You are

going to have so much fun and make lots of friends."

 

Brianna was trying hard not to cry and she shook her head no.

 

"Tell you what how about if I pick you up then we got Mickey D's."

 

Brianna was torn she had to stay here but she got to go to Mickey D's for doing so.

Buck noticed another little girl who looked more miserable than his little sister

about being in kindergarten but there were no reassuring grown ups with her. "Hey

little bit, its going to be okay and you know what I see somebody looking for a

friend." He knew if he could get her interested

in the little girl everything would be okay. He did get the introducing and talking

going and finally he tried to make his escape.

 

"You'll be back at noon right."

 

"Sure will little bit.'

 

"Then we go to Mickey D's and riding right?"

 

Buck hadn't mentioned riding he looked at the little girl he caught trying to climb

on Beavis last week. "It's been forbidden." He shook his head no.

 

"Buck."

 

"No riding for three more days."

 

In the way of all small children, she started to protest.

 

"You want to go for another week." She shook her head no and the pout turned to a

smile almost immediately.

 

"Buck can Marcie come wif us to Mickey D's."

 

"Not this time, we have to ask her parents okay?" Brianna immediately turned to

Marcie and said next time. Marcie nodded she understood or thought she did.

Buck knew it was time to leave and he accompanied Sarah and Chris outside

where he told them to go ahead and leave.

 

"Y'all can go on. I'm going to wait a bit."

 

"She'll be fine and you can't stand out here till noon."

 

"I won't, just want to make sure she's okay."

 

"See ya later."

 

Buck looked up when Chris entered the room. He looked at his oldest friend and didn't know exactly what he was feeling. He knew that Chris loved his sister, but the hurt of three years earlier and then the accident had brought up old feelings. He looked at Chris and still didn't want to be in the same room with him.

 

"I'm going to get some coffee so will you stay with her?"

 

"Sure."

 

Chris and Buck had eased into an uneasy truce. Chris watched her sleep and then

noticed the rain coming down outside.

 

"I guess your not scared of thunderstorms any more are you?" He smiled remembering the first time Marcie and she had spent the night together.

 

Chris woke with the thunder and groaned. Sarah had smiled at her husband.

 

"Man I'm going to shoot Buck he had to pick this weekend to go to Aspen."

 

"Chris?"

 

"Two sets of cold little feet in my back, what do you want to bet?"

 

"You don't know that."

 

"This is Breezie we're talking about isn't it. She's going to be in here."

 

"Oh quit acting like such a grump. You love her as much as Buck does."

 

"Doesn't mean I want cold little feet in my back."

 

"You want her to stay in there scared." Chris shook his head no. "If they come in

here just tell them no. You can do it. You know the word. The one you used about

the sweater I adored at Dillards."

 

Sarah didn't know it, but the sweater was hid in the guesthouse as her birthday

present. Adam started crying. "I'll get him. You stay here and practice saying no to

her." Sarah left the room and Chris went back to sleep. He didn't guess he was

good and asleep when he felt something sit down on his chest and staring down at

him. He opened his eyes. Brianna was sitting on his chest and Marcie was

standing beside the bed looking like she couldn't believe she was there.

 

"Hi Crits."

 

He looked at her and smiled.

 

"Marcie's scared of storms. Where's Sarah?"

 

"She is huh, and Sarah's with Adam."

 

"Yep she is and they be really loud in my room. When's Buck coming back from

Aspen?"

 

"Monday." She grinned at him and he knew the question was coming. The one he

was going to say no to. She and Marcie were not sleeping in here.

 

"Crits since it storming can we puleeze stays here."

 

He looked at both little girls and he knew he was being played. He wanted to say

no, but when he opened his mouth all that

came out was a yes.

 

"Thank you Crits."

 

"You two have to go right back to sleep." They both nodded and Marcie climbed

over and stepped on his stomach and settled right down and went back to sleep

next to him. Brianna simply climbed between him and Marcie. Before she went

back to sleep she sat up next to him and leaned real close to him so her

best friend wouldn't hear.

 

"Tanks Crits. Marcie don'ts knows you can always go get in bed with big peoples

when yous scared."

 

Chris nodded and watched as she went to sleep amazed as always how she talked

herself to sleep with a running commentary about life on the ranch. Sarah came

back smiled.

 

"You know if people really knew what a softy you are would ruin your reputation."

 

"Don't wake them up. Breezie, will start talking again."

 

In the waiting room Buck was sipping his coffee and trying to keep the knowledge of what could have happened from entering his mind. The guilt for letting her move out and into the dorm. The guilt that it wasn't his sister that was dead and so he was glad.

 

The loss of Marcie who was like a little sister. He tried to keep the pictures of his sister running everywhere out of his mind. The pictures of her and Marcie always together for the last thirteen years together. The images of the closet raids everything teenage girls do to torment older brothers.'

 

In her room Brianna was trying to keep from dreaming of the accident and when that was over. She stifled her scream, and was transported into her dreams to the funeral.

 

Chris was standing at the grave looking at them and it was taking everything he

had to stand there and not throw himself in with them. Brianna felt Bucks hand on

her shoulder and she leaned on him. Her heart was breaking. Buck didn't know it

but she had tried to call Chris a couple of times. She missed him and was worried about him. Finally the service was over and Brianna was convinced that her heart had been completely shattered. How could they be dead?

 

"Bree, darlin go wait for me in the truck."

 

Brianna nodded and headed to the truck. She wanted to go and hug Chris, but

she was being kept away from Chris.

 

Across the cemetery. She watches Buck walk over to him as she sat in the truck

and cried. When she noticed Buck heading back to the truck she quickly dried her

tears.

 

Brianna's days in the hospital were much the same. Spent in physical therapy and having the guys visit. One day, after being there for about a week, she was sitting watching a TV show on the Sci Fi channel. She watched and kept thinking, 'I don't know why Marcie thinks he's so cute. He doesn't look all that much like Buck.' She fought back the tears at the memory of Marcie as Buck walked in

with Chris. She could still see the tension there; the bruises were fading but they were there.

 

"Bree we need to talk."

 

"Um what's to talk about? Marcie and I did something stupid. I'm paralyzed she's dead and you two are acting like big dummies."

 

Buck shook his head. Chris looked away.

 

"Dr. Williams, thinks you should talk to someone."

 

Bree looked at her brother. "You mean a shrink?"

 

"Yeah, a psychiatrist her name is Dr. Wilson."

 

"I don't need a shrink. I just need to be left alone."

 

Chris knew the sounds of a wall going up around someone and Brianna was building one.

 

"It couldn't hurt."

 

"Did you after....." She wasn't in the mood to play fair with either one of them as they were working her last nerve. The constant tension look of guilt and pity.

 

"Little Bit that's not fair."

 

"Don't call me that and since when do you care about being fair to him? You have been acting like he's your worse enemy since the accident. You're just as bad, Chris, and I don't need a shrink. "

 

"You're going."

 

The stand off began immediately. Brianna hadn't spent all those years around her brother and Team Seven without learning a thing or two about stubborn. They were in the middle of the argument when the doctor walked in. They all stopped as soon as they noticed her.

 

"Hello I'm Dr. Wilson, you must be Brianna."

 

"See anybody else here that is female and in a hospital bed."

 

Buck growled.

 

"What? That's a stupid statement."

 

"What's with your attitude."

 

"I feel like it okay."

 

They started arguing and Chris tried to mediate. He thought Brianna was being a brat but she was in pain and grieving so he was going to cut her some slack. The psychiatrist watched for a while and got a feel for the dynamics.

 

"Perhaps I could talk to Brianna alone for a while."

 

Buck looked at her like she had grown two heads.

 

"Mr. Wilmington, I assure you I can deal with your sister's temper."

 

Brianna looked around the room and couldn't believe this was happening. This was her life.

 

"She can be quite the handful."

 

"Oh shut up Buck."

 

Buck couldn't believe she had said that and was shocked. Chris started to say something to and got the same response.

 

"What is your problem."

 

"You're my problem. You're hovering." Brianna let them have it for the last 12 years.

 

Finally Dr. Wilson spoke up. She was of the Dr. Phil school of Mental health. Don't tell them what they want to hear, just tell them the truth.

 

"All of you shut up!"

 

The three of them stared at the woman. No one outside of team seven interfered with a Wilmington-Larabee family fight. "I want to talk to Brianna alone and you two need to leave."

 

"What if I don't want to talk to you?"

 

"Then I will talk and you listen. You two out."

 

Both men told Brianna they'd be back later and she looked at them thinking they were traitors.

 

Dr. Wilson, pulled up the chair.

 

"I don't know why you're staying."

 

"Cause we're going to talk."

 

"I have nothing to say."

 

"Dr. Williams, says physically you're doing remarkably. Emotionally there seems to be a hold up on recovery."

 

"I'm fine."

 

"You are fine after a car wreck that killed your best friend, and nearly killed you?"

 

"What do you know?"

 

"That you and Marcie were drinking and driving and that choice killed her."

 

"I don't want to talk about it."

 

"Well, just listen to me then. I know you want to go home, and that's not going to happen 'till the doctors are convinced you are well on your road to recovery from this tragedy."

 

"I'm not talking about Marcie."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I let her down, and Buck down and Chris."

 

"How did you let them down."

 

"I just did okay."

 

"How."

 

"I did, isn't that enough. I let everybody down and Marcie's dead." Brianna turned her head and refused to say more. The doctor had heard enough about the accident but she wanted to know about Buck and Chris and why Brianna was angry at them.

"Why do you think you let your brother down."

 

"Because not even JD would do something this stupid."

 

"Who's JD."

 

"His honorary little brother." Brianna made the statement with such a broken hearted look the doctor was shocked.

 

"JD's more important than you are to your brother."

 

"I guess JD's the reason he let me move into the dorm. So JD could live with him instead of me."

 

"How did you let Chris down."

 

"Chris loves me and I could have gotten killed."

 

The doctor looked at the girl; her problems went beyond the wreck. She decided to bring up Marcie later. "Have you talked to them about it."

 

"Talk to them? No they don't want to hear it."

 

"You sure?"

 

"You don't talk to Chris about the past, and Buck never wants me to feel bad he'd just say, 'that's not true little bit'."

 

"I would like to talk them if its okay with you?"

 

"Oh sure because they are going to want to talk to you about throwing them out of here," Brianna knew that after they got through with her, the doctor wouldn't want to come anywhere near this room again. The look that Bree threw at her said as much.

 

"I don't scare off easily. I'll be back."

 

"Yeah that's what the Terminator said, only he still got his butt kicked."

 

In her office Dr. Wilson looked at Chris and Buck both and took a deep breath. She felt like she was being measured for her coffin from the look she was getting from Chris Larabee.

 

"Brianna, is in a great deal of pain."

 

They both looked at her as if to say 'you want to tell us something we don't know?'

 

"Not only physically but emotionally. She needs to grieve for Marcie but she won't."

 

Buck looked at her and immediately his defenses were up.

 

"Mr. Wilmington, she thinks she's let you, and Mr. Larabee and her friend down."

 

"Brie is a great kid."

 

"Mr. Wilmington, who is JD?"

 

"He's my roommate."

 

"According to Brianna he's more than that. He's your honorary little brother and the reason you let her move into the dorm."

 

"Sure JD's like a little brother but that has nothing to do with Brianna moving."

 

"She thinks it does. And Mr. Larabee, she seems to think she let you down as well."

 

"She's never disappointed me a day in her life. Okay I am not thrilled by the drinking and driving, but I'm glad she's alive."

 

"Even if she's not them."

 

Chris looked at Buck and glared. "I love her, and she knows that."

 

"But she thinks she let you down. You two have to help me help her."

 

Buck looked at her and nodded.

 

"The nurses say that sometimes when she's alone the few times either one of you have left her she has crying but whenever anyone enters that room she stops. She seems to think she's supposed to grieve alone and whenever any of the nurses asks if she wants to talk about Marcie all she says is no and gives them a 'go to hell look'. Mr. Wilmington, I know your mother died when Brianna was quite young....."

 

"Listen lady I never told her not to grieve for her Mama."

 

"I'm not saying you did, but did you let her see you grieve."

 

"She was five and didn't need me breaking down in front of her."

 

"She needed to know it was okay to express emotions about losing people to others."

 

Buck looked at Chris.

 

"Did you teach her that as well Mr. Larabee."

 

"I did what I had to do to protect her."

 

"From what?"

 

"Don't worry about it."

 

"Mr. Larabee, I'm not worried about you, or your past, but her pain."

 

"I'll take care of Breezie."

 

"Oh you have done great job of it." Buck muttered.

 

"What's that supposed to mean."

 

"She was twelve, Chris, she loved all of you and you just cut her off."

 

"Don't start with me Buck."

 

"I'll start whenever I want."

 

"Both of you stop and start talking to me about what is going on!"

 

Chris refused to say anything.

 

"You know, for two people who claim they love that girl you both sure are not very helpful."

 

"Wait a minute here. I have loved that girl all her life, and I resent you for saying it."

 

"She has lost people in her life yet she doesn't know how to grieve for them. That's not right."

 

"I was protecting her."

 

"From what, feeling?"

 

"No." He looked at the doctor. "You don't know anything about us."

 

"I know about people who are hurting. Your sister is a world of pain and you are going to help me."

 

Buck looked at the doctor. He knew something was wrong and what could it hurt to have a professional help him? Chris was unsure and remained quiet.

 

"Mr. Larabee, I expect your help too."

 

"I'm not talking about me or my past."

 

"Not even to help Brianna?" Buck exploded; this was further evidence that Chris didn't care about anybody but himself.

 

"Mr. Wilmington, will you calm down."

 

"I can't help her by talking about me."

 

Buck looked at him.

 

"It's not going to help her."

 

The doctor decided not to push him about the specifics. "Did you lose someone and Brianna not see you grieve?"

 

"She saw the worst grief can do, and how it can pull you into a void like no other."

 

The doctor looked at both men, she knew she had a tough road ahead of her.

"You two listen to me. That girl is in so much pain emotionally she won't even deal with it. She's an 18-year-old girl who feels like she's let everyone in her life down. Two of the people she loves most in this world at war over something that happened when she was twelve that has left a lasting impression on her. You two are going to help me help her, and right now, I don't care how much pain it causes either of you. Your job is to help that girl recover emotionally from this wreck."

 

Both the men looked at her and nodded.  Chris stood up to leave.

 

"Mr. Larabee where are you going?"

 

"To check on Brianna."

 

"If you leave this room I'll have you banned from her room. You have a choice to make. You either stay and talk or not see Brianna until she's released."

 

 

 

>>Next>>